10 healthy ways to release anger safely

Lately I’ve been seeing themes of anger coming up in client sessions. It’s interesting when I see that because it often is a reflection of where I am at too, and gives me an opportunity to explore what’s happening, both for my clients and also for myself.

It got me thinking about a saying I’ve heard that goes something like:

“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”

I love this saying because it really highlights that anger is an internal state. And from personal experience, I believe we can’t take that anger on, unless we are feeling it inside. So really the anger in the collective, is really the anger inside of us.

A few years ago, I worked through a big amount of anger in relation to my personal life, and some things that happened that were incredibly frustrating at the time. I remember using many different strategies to safely process my anger.

This blog is about sharing with you some suggestions on ways to move through your own anger in a healthy, non-destructive, respectful way. It’s by no means an exhaustive list, and I am not a Mental health Professional. But these are some emotional, mental, physical and energetic ways that I myself personally have used, and have suggested to clients that just might help you too.

So keep on reading if you’re interested!

1: A pillow is your best friend

Let me preface this by saying that anger can reside in your body and releasing it physically, or giving it an opportunity to, is really healthy. A simple pillow is so underrated and is readily available to most.

This is best done when you are alone so that you are free to release what you need to, (and also don’t frighten others). Take a pillow and try any or all of the following:

• punch or hit the pillow.

• Throw the pillow.

• Hit something (eg your bed head) with your pillow

• Scream in to your pillow.

Please make sure that you are safe when doing any of these. The aim is to release anger and not hurt yourself, or anyone else in the process.

2: Vocal release

When anger builds up, it can be really cathartic to give it a vocal release. Our throat chakra holds so much when we can’t fully express ourselves, so the following are great ways to give yourself a chance to release.

• Scream or yell. Literally. Do this in a safe space, and again when you are alone. If you have a busy household for example, in the car can be a great option.

• Scream in to a pillow.

• Play a powerful or angry song that you connect with and sing it at the top of your lungs. Really feel in to the words and let loose. Who cares if you can’t sing? You’re singing to release, not because you’re giving a performance!

3: Physical release

Releasing anger from your body physically is a great release. There’s so many activities you can choose to do this but it’s got to be something you resonate with. Here’s some suggestions but absolutely feel free to do it your way. As long as it’s something physical that pushes you and makes your body move, and not think, then you’re doing this right.

• Boxing: really focus your energy on punching or kicking it out.

• Running: push yourself and get puffy here.

• Dancing: any kind of expression.

• Shaking your body. Literally shake out your arms, legs, move your hips and head. Jumping on the rebounder is a great version of this.

• Go to the gym and have a sweaty workout.

4: Get Creative

Give your anger a creative outlet. Drawing and painting are wonderful examples of creative outlets as they allow for creative expression. The key to releasing anger via creativity is to not be concerned about making a pretty piece. This is about allowing your emotions to be expressed out on to the medium or out through the process.

Find your creative outlet, and just let whatever you need to let go, out.

5: Purge writing

Gosh, I really love what I call purge writing. It’s such a simple thing to do, but so powerful. Don’t underestimate this one.

Purge writing is a form of journalling, but the intention is to purge, or let out of your system anything you need to let go of. Sometimes that can be ugly, and that’s ok. Here’s how to do it.

• Grab any piece of paper. Preferably not your lovely, pretty paper (as it’s going to be destroyed).

• Write whatever you are feeling on to the paper. You might start off slow, that’s ok. But just write. Really let loose on what you are feeling. Swear, write in illegible writing, the important thing is that you write anything you are feeling, no matter how awful it may be.

• This is for you, and you only, so really let loose.

• Cry if you feel like crying. Let out big sighs. Whatever you are feeling in the moment if you have anything physical like that come up.

• If you wear reading glasses, don’t wear them as it’s important NOT to re-read your writing. The aim is to purge, to let go and not take what you’ve released back in.

• Once you are done, scribble on the paper if that calls you, or tear it up as a symbolic gesture.

• Then burn your piece of paper somewhere safe (I burn mine on to a ceramic plate). Intend for the emotions you expressed to go with the paper. Imagine them being released.

6: Ground yourself in nature

Go out and connect with the Earth to restore your energy. Anger takes away a lot of our sovereign energy, our power centre gets depleted. Connecting with nature allows her to absorb some of your anger, and soften it if that feels right for you today. Some ways you can connect to the Earth and feel grounded are:

• Walking barefoot on the grass.

• Swimming in a lake or ocean.

• Taking a hike, or bushwalk.

• Hugging a tree.

Nature is a powerful healer that grounds you and restores your energy. Again, sounds so simple but you know you are doing it right once you feel yourself come “down” and feel calmer.

7: Verbalise

Imagine the source of your anger (a person, people or thing) is sitting in a chair in front of you. Do a bit of role play and verbalise and tell them why you are so angry. What is it that makes you angry? What did they do, or not do? How is it that their actions affect you?

Yell, scream, talk, do what you need to do, but do it in a safe manner.

8: Talk about it

Talking about your feelings can help to release some of the pent up emotions. But make sure it’s a professional or trusted friend who can hold the space for you. Not all friends are capable of listening with empathy.

Talking can be good if it’s done with some of the other methods, but please don’t rely on it alone. Processing and releasing anger, or any emotion, is more holistic and complete when it’s done on different levels. Anger doesn’t just sit in your emotions, it sits in your body and in your mind too.

9: Distraction

Sometimes you’ve tried other strategies and it’s just not working so in these cases, it can just be better for you to remove yourself from your anger, instead of facing it head on. Or you can just be so tired from being angry all the time, that it’s time to try a different strategy.

That’s where distraction can be good. Distraction is when you remove yourself physically or mentally from whatever it is that is triggering your anger. Some ways to do this are:

• Step in to another space.

• Take a walk outside.

• Try an activity that will get your mind and body away from the source of your anger.

10: Focused breathing

Breathing techniques can also be beneficial but this comes with a proviso. If you’re in the peak of feeling anger, start with some of the other methods, especially the physical ones and then come back to some deep breathing. It’s almost impossible to focus on breathing when you are spinning out. When you’re ready, try this:

• In a comfortable position, take some deep breaths and count the seconds in and out.

• Make sure that the exhale is longer than the exhale. For example, breathe in for four, and breathe out for eight.

• All you need to do is focus on the out breath being longer than the in breath

This type of breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system and shifts the body from fight or flight mode to rest and digest mode. This sends a signal to the brain and reduces anxiety, tension and anger.

If you’ve tried these strategies and you’re still struggling, please consider some professional help for personalised assistance.

If you’ve enjoyed reading this blog, feel free to let me know in the comments below and share with a friend!