Is your Mobile Phone taking over your life?
I was having a chat with a friend the other day about how much we, as a society in general, are ruled by notifications on our phones, and our phones in general.
It’s no wonder many of us can’t fully relax. If I were to ask you this question, what would your answer be?
When was the last time you went for a walk, took a shower, went to the toilet, to the gym, to bed or ANYWHERE without your phone?
When mobile phones became mainstream
Mobile phones really became a thing in the late 1990s. And it was so great. Back then (and ok I’m showing my age here 😝), it was so great to call a friend when you were out. Or call your parents to let them know you’d be home late. Mobile phones back then was about phone calls and text messages. And it felt like a safety in your pocket that you never had before.
Since the advent of the internet in the mid 2000s, things changed and social media platforms really took over. We have all been a part of this rapid technology boom in the last 20-30 years!
It’s great that we have a computer in our hands! A portable device that can answer even the most silly of questions. But it’s a double edged sword. Most of us are addicted to our phones and the notifications and are really suffering for it. Some people are aware of how much it affects them and others not so much. Let’s talk about this a bit more.
Why are people so addicted to their phones?
If you were to be honest, where do you spend the most time on your phone? Is it on social media scrolling, playing games, messaging friends or on Google shopping! I wanted to find out a bit more why we are so addicted, so I asked Chat GPT this question. “Why are people so addicted to their phones?”
The answer was a bit long so I’ll summarise it here for you.
Dopamine Loops e.g. Every time you get a notification, message, or “like”, your brain gets a small dopamine hit which reinforces the behaviour, kinda like a slot machine.
Social Validation. Social media platforms feed off our desire for approval and connection. So we are constantly checking for likes, comments, messages, etc as a form of validation from others.
Endless Content. Infinite feeds, autoplay and the recommended algorithm means there’s always something new to watch, read or swipe. And get this, social media companies intentionally remove natural stopping points, making it easy to lose hours without realising it!
FOMO - Fear of Missing Out. It’s real! Seeing others post about events, news or achievements creates an anxiety of being left out which further drives compulsive checking and comparison.
Escape and distraction. A convenient escape from boredom, stress or uncomfortable emotions. Games, videos and social media provide an escape leading to emotional numbing.
Design and habit formation. Tech companies use behavioural psychology to design apps to form habits eg streaks on Snapchat, challenges on Instagram, etc
All in one tool. Your phone is your clock, calendar, doorbell, notepad, map, social hub and so much more. Because it’s always with you, it’s so easy to default to using it constantly.
What sort of effect does excessive mobile usage have on us?
So if we are so addicted to our phones, then how does this addiction effect us? Here’s a little summary.
Shortened attention span
Increased anxiety and stress
Sleep disruption
Information overload
Lower self esteem
Loneliness
Reduced emotional presence
Eye strain & headaches
Neck / back pain
Reduction of physical activity
Compulsive checking
Reduced productivity
Addiction like symptoms
How crazy is that list?!! If you were to answer honestly, how many of those can you relate to?
How to have a more balanced relationship with your phone, and cut down your usage
So now you are aware of why you’re addicted to your phone and how it affects you, here’s some ways to cut down your phone use (in a balanced kind of way, cause let’s face it, you’re probably not going to stop using it altogether).
Make some areas phone-free zones at certain times. Eg the dining table at dinner time, the bedroom when sleeping and waking, during conversations. This gives you space to make some real conversations and connections with the people in front of you.
Most phones have built in tools to monitor screen time. Use the tools to set limits on your most used apps or only have essential functions available.
Turn off / mute alerts and notifications that don’t require your immediate action and keep only what truly matters. Things like messages, calls and calendar reminders. And if they get to be too much, turn your phone on Do Not Disturb mode for a while.
Notice when you’re using your phone out of boredom or stress. Try taking a deep breath, walking outside, journalling or sitting in silence for a couple of minutes instead. Or something else along those lines that appeals to you.
If you use the alarm clock on your phone, try using a real alarm clock instead. That way you don’t have to sleep with the phone in your room and also your phone isn’t the first thing you look at when you wake up.
Spend a day observing your screen time, without judgement. And work out when you habitually reach for it the most, and how you feel afterwards. This kind of awareness will allow you to make changes.
Try scheduling some phone breaks, make it an intentional break from your phone like a little walk without it. This will help to reset your nervous system and clear your mind.
Reconnect with what you love without your phone. Ask yourself what brings you joy? Is it a hobby, nature, movement, deep conversations? And prioritise these soul nourishing activities next time you feel like scrolling.
I hope you’ve found this blog useful. Maybe you haven’t really thought about how your phone use affects you, or maybe you have. But now you know a bit more, I hope you can start to make some positive changes back to a healthier relationship with your phone and to a more balanced you. And learn to be the ruler of your phone, not its’ humble servant!
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